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How to Get Rid of Approach Anxiety

Approach anxiety happens to be a huge problem in the world of seduction and dating nowadays, and it affects men at various levels. While some men just move past is and eventually learn how to pick up women with ease, other men get completely paralyzed by it. According to, dating anxiety is indeed real– it happens to a lot of men and women. Unfortunately, you will have to get past this anxiety if you want to succeed with women in the long run. If you don’t, then you can forget about finding a woman to date altogether.

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The good news is that you can learn how to get rid of approach anxiety, though, and just start to approach women afterwards. If you feel like you need some help in this particular department, then here are a couple of tips to help you out.

 1. Work on your social skills.

This tip is a standard in the world of seduction – and for good reason. See, if you work on your social skills enough, you won’t have trouble talking to everybody around you, regardless of gender and age. You might even find time to talk to bartenders or brooding loners at the bar.

Of course, you will have to be in the mood for socializing before you can approach anyone to talk, though. To get into the mood for this, call up some friends or relatives before going out. Starting up a conversation with people that you feel comfortable talking to before going out can actually help you strike up better conversations with random people during the night. If things don’t go as planned, then learn to smile and just walk away; then, just talk to somebody else instead.

How can your social skills help you pick up women? Well, when a woman sees that you are confident enough to talk to anybody around you, then the spotlight won’t just be on you, but it will also make you look more attractive in the long run. Talking to girls is an art– and confidence can take you places, if you want to master it. Plus, you won’t have to worry about getting tongue-tied once you find a target worth chatting up by the end of the night.

 2. Give out subtle compliments.

Another great method that you can use to get rid of approach anxiety and pick up women is to start talking to a woman without having any hidden agendas behind it. In other words, don’t think about bagging her phone number by the end of your conversation. Just make her smile and laugh as you talk to her, and be courteous at all times. Make sure you give her subtle compliments, as well, such as “I saw you dancing earlier and found your moves quite interesting.”

After using these two simple tips on a regular basis , you should get used to talking to women in no time, even if you knew nothing about them to begin with. Soon after that, you should notice that women are becoming more receptive to you, in general, and you might even get some of them running after you for a date or two. Think of it this way– a great conversation is just a prelude to the possibilities of getting a girl to like you. This is because most men don’t use the aforementioned tips or don’t get over their approach anxiety to begin with.

How to Approach Women

Most men have trouble learning how to approach women. Because of this, most men also get frustrated when trying to reach out to women. While some men don’t have any trouble playing the role of Casanova, other men never seem to say the right things when they need to.


Fortunately, any man can learn how to approach women. You simply need to make sure that you practice the right skills on a regular basis, so that you can sweep your woman of choice off of her feet whenever you want to.

Now, before you start approaching women, you should know full well what you are getting into first. Making sure that you understand the female psychology is definitely important. In other words, you have to take a look around and observe things beforehand, so that you can figure out which approach would work out best for you. If you want to approach a woman who is with a  group of friends, for example, you might want to wait to catch her on her own before doing anything. After all, do you really have the guts to throw out a pickup line in front of a bunch of other women?

If you are just a beginner when it comes to this, then you might want to start small, as well. Otherwise, you could creep out your woman of choice or offend her somehow – and this is definitely not something that you would want to happen.

Here are some very effective moves that you can try out the next time you want to approach a woman:

 1. Offer to buy her a drink.

This is probably the most traditional way for men to approach women and it works because buying a drink will easily break the ice. However, you have to make sure that the woman you are approaching is actually interested in you; otherwise, you could end up buying more and more drinks for nothing. Sense the attraction, and you’d definitely get a reaction. If you want to be as smooth as possible, you can buy her a drink through the bartender instead. This will soften things up and make for an even better icebreaker in the end.

 2. Ask her to dance.

Now, it goes without saying that you shouldn’t use this move unless you can actually dance yourself. If you have two left feet, then this move could just lead to ultimate disaster. You should also make sure that other people are dancing around you and that you have female friends with you to help you out. Ideally, you should dance with your female friends first before approaching your target.Friends (1)


 3. Use the perfect pickup line.

Although there are women out there who hate pickup lines, the fact of the matter is that they work most of the time, according to an article by MSN Living. You will need to be sensitive when it comes to this, though. Don’t just throw around random pickup lines without thinking things through. Try to think of the perfect pickup line for the situation and if you succeed at making her laugh after using it, you can score even more points with her in no time. If you need more tips on how to talk to girls, click here for more pointers.

The Art of Approaching Women

So, here’s the setting: it’s Friday night, you’re all alone, and you’re trying your best to banish those thoughts of you being single in your head to no avail. You get up and decide to head out to your local bar, all dressed up and really looking sharp. You go to the bar, order a glass of Jack Ds, neat, and sit. You calmly drink your drink as you scan the room for women who would strike you as interesting and attractive. There she is—sitting in a corner along with her loud friends whose laughs you can hear from afar. Now, what to do? Suddenly you feel sweat coming out from your forehead, which is odd, because the bar’s air-conditioning is blasting away. You feel jittery. Jack Daniels is making its presence felt inside your stomach.



STOP. You’re panicking. It’s okay, it’s normal. Approaching a woman is really nerve-wracking and is really bound to make you nervous. But calm down! There’s  a process to it—from making eye contact and getting her number for a date, or even taking her home with you if you’re lucky. All you have to do is follow these steps if you want to master the art of approaching women.

First Stage: The Initiation.

So are you going to do something about that woman who is really, really looking good from your bar stool view? The quickest way to do so would be to initiate eye contact. Single and available women will always have their eyes wander around, and the chances of her eyes meeting yours are likely. When you make eye contact, do a little smile, or a nod—and watch her reaction. Tell-tale signs of her acknowledging this would be to smile back(obviously), flip her hair, or turn away then look again. If she does these, you’re on the right track.

Second Stage: The Follow Through

Once you get the go-signal, go ahead and make your move. Walk over to her and approach her with confidence; ask her if you can buy her a drink. She probably has noticed you by now, and will accept your offer.

Third Stage: The Exchange.iStock_000001543774XSmall

Here it is—you finally get the chance to talk to her and see if there’s chemistry or a spark. This is the part where you’d tell if there’s a physical and an emotional connection. Conversations are the hardest part—you have to act confident without being too arrogant, you have to be sharp and appear intelligent without sounding like a geek, you have to be extremely funny without looking like a silly person. Watch out for non-verbal cues– if she mirrors your gestures or movements, if her eyes focus on yours alone, those slight touches or fingers brushing against your arm– body language counts, as Slate reminds us. Never, ever dominate the conversation– however, remember that you can always use fractionation techniques if you want to be in control. This is the part that lets her decide if she wants a date with you or not—so better be good.

Fourth Stage: The Confirmation.

When all goes well, it won’t hurt for you to ask her out on a date. Flirt subtly—she’ll get those hints. Ask for her digits, and if she feels like she had a nice time as much as you did, then chances are she’s going to give it to you.

When all is said and done, give yourself a pat on the back—congratulations, you did well!